“Knowing
oneself”- There are a plenty of books written and enough wise people
have said about it. Self discovery, self realisation etcetera are very heavy
words and seem too far-fetched for majority of people. Most do not attempt or wait for a long time in
their lives to do it. It is a valuable idea and pursuit if you ask me.
However, I am writing this post today as an
extension of my previous post on decision making or lack of it. All of what I
mention today is pure and unalloyed truth born out of my own contemplation.
Take away what is good and leave the rest. That is how I would approach it too.
So after I finished last post, I felt something
is amiss. There has to be more to it. And perhaps even after this post, I may
have more to write on this subject of sound decision making. Sometimes staying
with the problem long enough itself gives you answers at unexpected moments. A
Eureka hits you from nowhere. That is what happened this morning with me while
chating with my nephew Anush. It is his birthday today. Happy Birthday, Anush!
Today I want to not delve into the heavy work
of yoga, self discovery and communion with your spirit. I want to focus
on our instinctive choices that we make every day. We make hundreds of choices
everyday in eating, talking, driving, reading, observing, responding to emails,
watching TV, surfing internet, shopping, playing our favourite sports or Gyming
etc. You may add more activities to this list depending upon your lifestyle. We
are exercising choices all the time. We are taking decisions in other words. And
we decide quickly.
I want you to observe that we have a set
pattern. This pattern is made after years of living life. These patterns have
been influenced by our social ecosystem, education, our own background and
incidents in our life. All these have left psychic imprints on our mind.
Remember 'Manas' , our instinctive faculty, from my last post. Each one of us has
written our own scripts on it based on our experience.
When under duress or when liberated from
expectations of proper behaviour or decorum, we will be our true self. We will
make our choices easily using this instinctive faculty. In other words, we will
act according to our ‘programmed nature’ (I would not call it “our true nature”
because out true nature is a state of bliss, where we all are same, something for
another time).
Our mind is a storage powerhouse, whatever it
has experienced from eons, it has passed on from our ancestors and then we
accumulate more in our lifetimes. It is not too difficult to imagine that how
humans have evolved over ages have left a common denominator of set behaviour
among all of us. We all respond to a threat same way, we all get bogged down
easily with negative thoughts and we all get distracted. We easily accept it as
a theory of evolution and something that is ingrained in humans. However, there
is a way to rise above these so called ingrained tendencies. Many genius people
have shown it to us in our history.
However, that is not the point of today's musings.
My point is that our mind comes with a certain knowledge that we are born with
and rest we acquire from our own experiences. How wonderful it is when we
notice our own offspring have same eating, sleeping, yawning, walking habits
like one of the parents. This is all passed on from Genes. As per Yogic texts,
all your body cells comprise of your mind. It is not just a brain function. This
is the example of the knowledge that we are born with.
Part of knowing oneself is to know rest of the
tendencies we acquire in our life. It is an exercise to notice our own
instincts and how we make our smallest of choices. Let me lead you, with
some examples.
Do you eat the best
part of what's on your plate first or save it for the last? Eating first may mean that you need
instant gratification as opposed to delayed. It may also allude to
insecurity. May be your siblings ate away your favorite dish when you were
young. You are likely to behave or exercise choices in your work life also like
this, when faced with such conundrum.
Do you like to drive
your car fast or slow or say in Cruise mode, given that you can do all of the
above on the road?
Going fast reflects ambition, restlessness and eagerness to reach destination.
Going slow may mean low confidence, confused state, already left the race etc.
Cruise mode, on the other hand, means stability, happiness, enjoying the
journey and scenery around. It means you are comfortable with your speed, you
are in the race but your own terms, you want to lead balanced life, you are
okay with others overtaking you, you have realised the futility of running too
fast.
While I understand that what choices we make
when we are with someone say our spouse or children or parents, will be
influenced by what is termed as “Proper” choice by morality or widely acceptable
behaviour. I encourage you to pay attention to those instances when you are
your true self.
There can be many such instances when you are
all by yourself. Nobody is watching, no pretense, you are making independent
choices. Observe yourself as I said during shopping, reading, watching TV, kind
of conversations you enjoy, and many others. See your own pattern. You will be
amazed with your own decision making instincts.
May be then you draw parallels to your work
life or life where we have to interact with others. May be then you go to your
source of that instinct, may be you are able to contemplate better and perhaps,
erase that psychic imprint. You may just be able to forgive others, forgive
yourself, laugh away at incidents which are latently influencing your behaviour
and let go of them.
Yes, letting go. That sets you free. And when you are at
peace, you make good decisions. And that you are okay with the consequences of
your decisions.
Love and Peace,
Nitin Om Patnia
Disclaimer: The
author works as a financial advisor in India. The views expressed here are
completely his own and are a collective wisdom of numerous humans that
co-exist or existed before the author. The author claims no right of
originality of ideas but would like to assert the right to his style of
writing. There is no intent to hurt anyone's sentiments with his opinions. It
is just an honest expression by the author to help anyone who may be benefited
from his writings. And a medium to express his gratitude to all who contributed
to bless the author with wisdom. Most of all to his spiritual master, Om Swami, in bestowing wisdom and grace.
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