From a Man of Reason to a Man of Faith

Over the last couple of years, mid-life crisis hit me hard.  A situation when you begin to feel uselessness of drowning yourselves in sensory pleasures, just to stop the continuous chattering of mind. The pointlessness of going around in circles of everyday life, continues to haunt you. You want to know whose drama we are playing a part in.  Why is there a race everywhere? To what end is all of this competition and competitiveness? How long will I continue to be unreal? A different man in a business suit and completely different in my pyjamas.

I am also a product of modern education that places science on a higher pedestal and money even higher. We are all taught to question everything that's happening around us. We look for a reason and a meaning to everything, everyone, every situation. In short, we start to take life seriously. We place high stakes on our own beliefs, our own intellect and thereby place undue and unfit expectations on ourselves. We start to expect same standards from everyone as well.

Google and wiki has instant answers. Some are from exact science and some abstract (where theories continue to evolve as man uncovers more mystery). Unfortunately, we apply the same scientific principles with human beings as well. He behaves like this so he is so and so. She acts like this so she is so and so. Labelling, stereotyping and constantly judging.

Guess what, it leaves you lonely. Only you remain your best friend eventually. But we hate our own company. We can’t sit quiet and alone for too long. We need someone to talk to. So if not real, we take to the virtual world. You see, before you know it you are back to the same pointlessness again.

I began reading books ranging from self-help to philosophy to autobiographies to spirituality. I gathered more Gyan. There is some more knowledge now but it was too dry. Now I know more than my buddies, is the voice in my head. Ego swelled further. Moreover, it was not my truth, my first-hand experience. I was quoting someone else always. All the knowledge stayed at the surface level, at intellectual level not in the deep recess of the mind. As per Yoga sutras, all learning stayed at Buddhi (intelligence) but did not touch Chitta (consciousness).

All this until finally I decided to meet author of one book that inspired me a lot. I booked an appointment and went to see the MAN, who claimed to have walked the path all the way. Until there was nothing else to know more…amazing… Isn’t it?

However, it is not my intention to write my own memoirs here but to share the changes in my psychological framework after I began my spiritual journey. I was encouraged to explore my Self by sitting in quietude, studying my own thoughts, slowing them down and slowly uncover my biases.

It’s been roughly 2 years on the path. Here is how I describe own transformation from a man of reasoning to a man of faith:

Gotama Buddha's famous words are echoing right now: Beware of too much wisdom.

For a Man of Reason, more intelligence brings rigidity to accept things easily. Mind questions, asks for evidence, constantly pitting against it with logic that agreed with one's intelligence earlier. Fact is that most source of this rigidity comes from secondary information, what someone else has experienced. A logical mind finds it difficult to keep an open perspective.
A Man of Faith, on the other hand, surrenders to the divine will. Faith is a like the warmth of the fireplace in winters, like the comfort felt by a young one in the arms of his mother. It is a knowledge that not all things are in one's control.

A true faith is belief in your skills, purity of intent, genuineness of effort and persistence of action. It’s the calm felt in being patient for fruits of your work.

When faith develops, it makes you fearless, makes you strong willed but leaves you with a softer nature. Your questions reduce each day, since resistance to accept adverse situations goes down. You have more answers as slowly you decrypt the message in every situation that life throws at you. History stops repeating because you are conscious now, not to repeat the same mistake, not to act the same way as last time. You break one cycle at a time. A life which felt like going around in circles, suddenly feels like a spiral which is constantly climbing upwards.

In faith, it is not about you always. You develop a deep sense of Empathy and start to understand why people behave in a certain way. There is always a stimulus to why people say or do things. A baggage that we are all carrying of suppressed emotions.

Reasoning remains, it should. But it is accompanied by contemplation and acceptance. You develop a sense to, sometimes, dance to the tune of life if it is not going your way. In the words of my spiritual master, when we start to adjust to the ways of nature, nature starts to adjust according to you.

Faith does not tell you to resign to circumstances, it teaches you surrender. There is a world of difference between resignation and surrender. One is devoid of action and wishes for favourable outcome, but, the other is completing your action and waiting for its outcome. If it is not favourable now, then it will be; at a right time.

I may be stretching it a bit but a man of logic believes that happiness is an outcome, while a man of faith believes it is a conscious choice to remain happy. One view is of destination and the other is of the journey.

Finally, I have to submit that it is one thing to understand what faith is, in your conscious mind, as a concept. It is a completely different feeling when you experience it at your sub-conscious level. You no longer have to choose to be faithful; it becomes your second nature.

Go back to your roots, travel alone, go trekking, and spend some time with yourself in solitude to discover this faith inside you. Feel the grace of your creator!

Love and Peace,


Nitin


Disclaimer: The author works as a financial advisor in India. The views expressed here are completely his own and are a collective wisdom of numerous humans that co-exist or existed before the author. The author claims no right of originality of ideas but would like to assert the right to his style of writing. There is no intent to hurt anyone's sentiments with his opinions. It is just an honest expression by the author to help anyone who may be benefited from his writings. And a medium to express his gratitude to all who contributed to bless the author with wisdom.